Tiny Bikeshop By the Sea
A long time ago, a Persian bride waltzed into a tiny bikeshop by the sea. On her heels: her husband and her best friend.
The best friend declared she was buying the bride a bicycle.
“This bicycle is the best thing that happened today!” said the bride. “Because my husband, I’ve known him four years. But the bicycle is new!”
She tried on every helmet in the shop.
Husband: “You have too much hair!”
Bride: “The gentleman is nagging!”
—
A long time ago, in a tiny bikeshop by the sea, a woman named Funda bought a red-with-white-polka dot helmet.
“I bought them in Spain,” she said of her fantastic red shoes. “Actually, they are children’s shoes.”
Earlier, she had rejected another helmet which, although red, was “too subdued.”
—
A long time ago, in a tiny bikeshop by the sea, seven-year-old Jolie put on a glossy aero helmet with a reflective eye shield. She studied herself in the mirror.
“I ride my bike really fast because I want to be a racer.”
“What kind of racer, Jolie?”
“A champion racer.”
—
A long time ago, in a tiny bikeshop by the sea, a little boy climbed off a bike he’d just tried, and peed out of excitement.
“Is this bicycle four-and-a-half? Is this bicycle four-and-a-half?”
His nanny paid for the bike, hailed a cab.
—
A long time ago, a man sent his son, the youngest of four boys, to inflate a basketball at the tiny bikeshop by the sea.
The next day, the same kid showed up with an Ikea bag containing every conceivable kind of ball.
—
A long time ago, in the tiny bikeshop by the sea, Ilya challenged a child to a game of foosball. He played one-handed.
On the way out, the child said to her dad:
“I think he’s some kind of expert.”
—
A long time ago, in a tiny bikeshop by the sea, a man plopped a fat baby into the babyseat on the back of his bike. He buckled the harness.
“Alright, Mars, let’s go do dangerous things.”
—
A long time ago, in a tiny bike shop by the sea, a kid chose a rainbow helmet.
Later that day, the father came back to exchange it.
“His mom said it's a girl color," he said. "You see, I’m color blind.”
—
A long time ago, a father and son visited the tiny bikeshop by the sea. The kid really wanted to play foosball, but he couldn't quite see over the table. We gave him a milk crate.
“I have a question.”
“What’s up?”
“Can the foosball break from falling on the floor?”
“Nah.”
“Can a shark crack it with its teeth?”
—
A long time ago, a short guy wrote a Yelp review for the tiny bikeshop by the sea.
“I gave you four stars because you’re small.”
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